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temptation101's Journal


temptation101's Journal

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1 entry this month
 

Having a bad day

03:56 May 02 2008
Times Read: 684


Do you just ever wonder why the mind thinks of certain things at certain times? Today I have thought a lot about the friends I have lost and the friends that I miss so much. I don't get to be a social person any more. It is really hard for me not to have people to talk to.



Three years ago I was engaged and thought I was going to be the happiest person in the world. Then he became jealous of my new job and separated himself from me. We broke up in November and I started dating again in December. I met this guy that I thought I really liked and he really liked me, but he turns out he was a giant ass. In Jan of 2006, I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared and yet so excited at the same time.



When I was three months pregnant, he left me. I haven't spoke with him since. He has never once asked about his daughter or stop by to see her or even called. I don't miss him because he was mentally mean to me, but I think that a man should be there for his daughter.



She will be two years old this September, and the only father she knows is her grandpa. And she thinks my mom is her mother. She calls her momma. It breaks my heart that she is closer to my parents then with me. When she was first born, I worked third shift and my parents babysat her. I feel like I have missed out on so much of her life, because I have to work to support us. I don't get any help from her dad. I have a good job that pay really well, but it makes me feel like I am missing so much.



Then last July my sister got out of prison and had no place to go, so she moved into my house. In November, I switched shifts to seconds and moved in with my parents. I am 31 going on 32 and living back at home with my parents. My sister cannot be around kids, so there was no reason for her to live with my parents when they babysat my daughter. So it was decided that I would move in with them.



It really sucks. I have my own house and can't live in it. I have a daughter that doesn't really know me. It makes me feel like I am a bad parent.


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